I want to let you know that every single word you said when i fell right down did get through my mind. I did not take one day to stand back on my feet, to feel alright again. I know you feel screwed, and you want to die. Yes, Yes i understand i’ve been through it all. Mine was worst then you dude. you know it. You know. You know i stood up, and so can you. You know you dont deserve such shit, so stop falling in, stand up. Live your life happily.

Dont bother about what is happening. Whoever asks you out, just go. What is he to you? Dont bother. Does he bother? Does he care? If he cares would he do this to you? Would he lie to you, and even lie to me? Fuck all the liars. They will get it back. Dont bother. And i hate you for showering me with all your vulgars just now. You have to know, you dont need everyone to pull you up. You just need your true friends and your own faith. Faith is what pulls you through. Faith is your supposingly second name. So stand up. If i were to fall again, what would you tell me? Will you please apply it?

Yes its difficult. Everything is going against you. Your friends dont care, your friends dont bother. They dont know how you feel. they dont know the story. He has no feelings for you, not at all. He dont bother, about you anymore. he dont wanna contact you, he wants to go. Let him go. You will hurt, but in exchange for your freedom and your happiness aly its worth. Stop living in the past. You were the one who again showered me with tons of vulgar damn you really and i secretly throw them back in your face right now. Whats about your future baby? Come on, Learn to love again. Love to learn. I said, fall 10 times, stand up 10 times. You didnt fall as deep as me, so count yourself lucky. You all were there for me, and i do not want you to walk the exact same steps as me. So do you understand?

If you want me to act as him and let you scold again, NO. I will not. i feel so foolish. you made me lose my patience aly!! i see you as someone so strong and full of principles. Dont let me down. I really wanna burst out just now. Stop all your foolish thinkings. You know what i mean. i dont want to see you doing all those things that everyone dislikes. You know what they are. Where is the old aly. He changed you, mine changed me. Yes everyone change. But i will change, for the better. You will too. he dont appreciate you. Neither does mine. Its o-k-a-y. Just live with it. Find friends who appreciate you. You dont have to die. You didnt lose 6kg like me, you didnt grow rashes like me. You didnt stay at home for 3weeks like me.  For the f. why he lied to me and you, this is stupidly ridiculous. Disappointing and childish. Childish. Gets on my nerves. Aly, you can fall for another. Be it handsome-r uglier fatter thinner anything. Its the process that matters. Dont go find another right now you know its stupid. You havent healed. If he finds another right now it wont last anyway, you and i know. This is life.

Its your mindset, its your thinking. If i can, you can. You have your freedom now.To all the friends who do not care for me and you, F in your face. Okay? To him who lied to you and played a fool, F him for you. okay? Its been too long since you dragged this. Remember its your mindset. If you say you cannot, you really cant because i learnt from pastor phil that you will be what your mind thinks you of. OKAY? Picture yourself with a super good guy next time, and the same old him not having learnt his lesson. Its okay, everything is okay. It will get better in time.

Letting go is learning, experiencing, and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up. it is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and let yourself free.

I may fall anytime soon, you know it. I didnt say i wont. And i didnt expect myself to have the mindset i have now. You know? Its miracle. It just comes, yours will too.  But i know what goes around comes around. Get that in your mind. It just shows how much they see in us. Yes i might not be able to take it, but they wont give a damn. Because nothing is fair and when people change focus they dont give a damn, they dont give a damn.

After today, i will not talk to you anything about this stupid matter. because i give up. You’re as stubborn as an ox.

See you on tuesday.

i think i secretly hate you aly.